Monday, February 14, 2011

Friday, May 14, 2010

The not so perfect parent post

Say that fifty times fast!! lol

Ok so I am CON.VIN.CED that I am NOT the only parent out there that feels like a failure most of the time. For a while I was positive I was, then I started noticing and listening to other parents and it turns out they were feeling what I was feeling. BUT (you knew there was a but right??!!!) no one will admit it until someone else does. No one will!!! So here I am....but I doubt it's a big shock to anyone that knows me! I still feel like I am the worst mother in the world, but at least I give it the old college try. Which, in retrospect doesn't say much, since I never went to college. oh well, I must digress.

For those that don't know the ins and outs of our lil family here, I was a single mom for 8 years. (kid #1's biological dad has since passed, but he was never a part of kid #1's life. The death was a shock, so we are actually dealing with it kind of weirdly because kid #1 is in worship mode right now. He's thinking of all the "what ifs". I do too.) Moving along, I married a man that I dated in high school, but we married when we were 30 and 27 (of course I am the younger one, still holding strong to that 27 after 7 years of marriage!!) Along came kid #2 six months after the marriage. Yes people, the baby was conceived out of wedlock. Ok, lets move on! :-) Kid #3 came along 3 years later. And then kid #4 S.H.O.C.K.E.D. us 2 years later almost to the day of #3. We were done with #3, but #4 decided not so.

Now kid #1 is almost 16 years old. yeah, he's so fun. NOT. (ok, there are those 8 hours when he's sleeping) He has this idea that he is entitled to everything, has to work for nothing and on top of all that, he is God's gift to women. (he does in fact get that from his dad!!!) Let me tell you, as hard as all that is to deal with, when he is the nice, sweet, respectful young man that he can be...oh he makes my heart melt. His brothers worship him, as do all his cousins. (particularly the little girls that are close to his age and all their friends too!! lol) With that note, he makes you work HARD to see that side of him.













Kid #2 is ADHD, recently diagnosed. We are on our third round of meds with him. Pretty positive this is the keeper though. (and if anyone wants to talk about that, let me know. It took me a long time to decide to follow thru with that check up and diagnosis and it was hard. It still is very hard for me to admit that he is ADHD, because you get THAT look. You know...and it will soon follow with the "worst mother in the world" feeling). He is our little loner who likes to play in his room, using his imagination. And if you could keep all his brothers away during that time, that would be fantastic!











Kid #3 is a not a talker. He is almost 3 years old. He understands everything you say, can follow directions very well, and does say some minor things. But not much. He has his own language. He is also a bully. Oh he is sweet as can be sometimes. When he gets mad, world look out!! I want to blame it on his daddy, who he is very much like, including looks, but really his anger comes from me.
















Kid #4 is just as sweet as can be. He's also only 8 months old. hehehehe So he's perfect. Please someone help that child though, cause his head is a magnet to concrete, hard floors, table corners, hard toys and pretty much anything that cause bodily hard. It kills me.


















In addition the hubster and I have fights. And we get really upset with each other. He hates that I stack stuff all over the place. I do. I have piles of papers in the kitchen, living room, our room, the dining room...everywhere. I hate that he has a huge pile where his keys and wallet go. I mean he puts EVERYTHING there. At least mine is broken up. :-)

Ultimately we all love each other. One day we will all look back fondly and recall this time. And I will THEN find out that I was a pretty good mom. While my kids will remember the things they will NEVER do to their kids, they probably will. Just like I did with my mom.

And that my friends is what family is, I hope. At least here it is. What you see on tv is NOT what family is. Even though we strive for it. But seriously people-you know who writes those lines? Single people. Who aren't married, who don't have kids, and who are rolling in the dough!! They are still dreaming! They will wake up one day covered in spit up, from 3 days ago, realize they haven't had a shower, they need to make 3 dozen cupcakes by tomorrow morning, all their eggs are rotten and the toddler is drinking the last cup of milk. It's at that point they will realize how stupid and naive they were when they were writing those lines. I am CONVINCED that is how the show The Middle came about. If my #3 would talk, he might just whisper like Brick.

Good day to all and to all a good day!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

some ramblins

So I totally suck at keeping up the blog. I am doing better than before, but I still need to actually concentrate on it. Does it help that I think about doing it?? If only it was as easy as facebook. (now there is a place I can update no problem!!!) But then again, FB isn't as interesting as a blog-not in the long term at least. It's like books vs magazines, FB is the magazine, blogs are like the books. See, I have so much to say, I really need to get on here. I need to get it out. lol

Here we are at the end of February...so much is going on. Elliot is almost 6 months old, Sam is turning 6 next month and he was recently diagnosed with ADHD. That took a lot for me to admit and go thru. Not because I am against medications, I'm not. I believe in them and think they are necessary sometimes. I don't believe in the hype about so many being diagnosed now a days, compared to way back when. I think these are just new things that are being discovered. (remember mental problems used to be something that would require people to be locked up for life!) Now when I tell people that he is on the medications, I feel guilt. Like I am one of those moms that is just looking for a way to quiet my kid or something. Seriously, I have 4 kids, 4 BOYS!! It's never quiet. But it has been a Godsend! He is not only calmed down quite a bit, but he's so much sweeter now. He's happy. He's not in trouble as often. It's my sweet boy that I knew was in there, but he was so frustrated by what he felt that he just lashed out and then usually ended up in a crying fit.
Yesterday we took the kids to the local park to play some putt putt (it's FREE!!!) and to walk around looking for a branch for a photo display. (photos to come soon, it's not ready yet) We had a blast. It's been so cold here and then it gets warm and then it gets cold again, so we have all been sick. And I really hate taking little babies out in the cold. I avoid it at all costs. I know I am weird, it's ok. My lil sister tells me all the time! It was so nice out there though. 70 degrees, a little bit of a wind, so a light jacket was required. It was oh so nice. Then we saw her. A Miniature Pinscher. A Baylie-my black baby girl. oh the heart ache.
We lost her in June 2008 after she discovered a few brownies wrapped in a napkin. It was my fault. I live with that every day. They were in my purse, I didn't put my purse on the dresser or a table, but on my bed. So when I saw this dog at the park, I got down on the ground and she crawled into my lap. And I cried. I never liked Min Pin's before. I actually didn't want her when Kevin called and told me about her. But she needed a home and there was no way I could turn my back on a dog that needed a home. And when he brought her home she didn't like me. (her human mommy before me didn't like her and was mean to her, so she didn't trust women) She became my little baby. Every where I was, there she was. If I was sewing, she was at my feet. If Iwas blow drying my hair, she was at my feet, waiting to be blow dried. She was wonderful with Sam and Gabe. She always had to lay by them if they were on the floor. She never nipped at them, but if they were doing something wrong, she would put her mouth on their hands, but never bit. I was lucky with a min pin like that. They actually are not supposed to be good with kids. No one told Baylie, so she was great with them. But boy, was she bad!!! She was always into something. Which is why I should have known better with the brownies. But I had forgotten them. She suffered a heart attack and there was nothing that could be done to save her. Now I am super vigilant even with chocolate cereal!

So lets change that subject...sorry about that.

I have been on a decorating and crafting tangent here lately. I didn't grow up in a decorated home and I am not one of the tidiest people in the world. I can live in clutter, though it bothers me, it's just sometimes easier to ignore. (let me add, I hate dirty, it's just the piles of crap that just creep up on you) So I have been trying to fix it, while fighting kids and hubby that don't want to change what we have. Our biggest problem is toys. That is our biggest fight also. So I do what I can and have to back off. But we are actually moving all 3 of the youngest into one bedroom and then making the biggest room a toy room, with the tv. Great for me, because I hate having the tv in their bedroom. So their bedroom will just be for sleeping and reading books. The play room will be an ongoing process though, because I want some Ikea cubbies and such for one wall, and since our income does actually have a limit, I have to buy when I can. (which isn't right now)

For now I am working on the downstairs. I am so excited about our entry way. I rescued some benches from my neighbors-they were actually throwing them away!!! aaaccckkk!! Now that I am not hugely pregnant anymore and it's warming up I will be able to finish them. I am ordering some wall shelves from JCPenney that finally went down in their price (y'all know I am super uber cheap!) I made a memo board that will coordinate with all. I can not remember where I saw this idea, but it's been in the back of my mind since I saw it. And Michael's had their big frame sale, with an additional 25% off frames, so I grabbed it! All you do is wrap your material around the "guts" in the frame and viola! You write on it with dry erase markers. Mine was drying out, so I have to get new ones.

Ok, gotta go to Walmart for some more flannel for Elliots rag quilt..will post photos then!

Monday, February 15, 2010

another giveaway

at the savvy photographer!
http://www.thesavvyphotographer.com/

Saturday, December 5, 2009

today is the day of Pioneer Woman book signing

and I'm NOT there!!! boohoo I am doing the right thing though. I know. We are all sick. She doesn't need to be sick. But SERIOUSLY??!! I believe these children (otherwise known as Devil's Spawn) are cooking up something to keep me from doing anything other than what they want to do. It does not involve me going off meeting an idol while they are at home without me. Heaven forbid I do anything without them!! Even if I included them in it, they would complain the whole time I was in line. I heard the lines are HOURS long. But I would have waited. In the freezing cold. With snow. (yes snow!!!! in Houston) I betcha she is freaking out wondering why Houston was the first place that had snow. But we did.

And we played in it. Even though we were sick.


Seriously...how cute is he?! I mean really...


And this is where Gabe is pretty much telling me he is done.
Do you want to know why my kids think everything I do has to involve/revolve around them?? Here is why...this is my backyard. Well, it was when we bought this house. Then we moved in. And THEY took over. EVERY.STINKING.SQUARE.INCH. They even use the shed for their storage! The patio doesn't have pretty furniture on it, it has rubbermaid tubs full of backyard toys and sandbox toys. When you look out the upstairs window over the neighborhood, there are no other houses that have this. Sam told me so. We have the best backyard he says. :-) And THAT'S why I wouldn't have it any other way.
and can I proudly say how cheap all this was??!! We only paid full price for that swingset-3 years ago. Everything else came off of craigslist and was so cheap. I love that!

So then Bubba (Austin) and Sam came home from school and we had to go back outside in the snow. Poor Gabe's hands were so cold he was in pain! Unfortunately we use knit gloves around here. Those are NOT good for making snowballs with your brother. And your hands hurt later. So much that you cry.

Of course then there is Sammy. He gets off the bus like this. Jacket? In his backpack. Yeah, cause THAT'S where it goes! (love that hat though! It came from Mudpies and Pigtails. I wish I could buy more!!! But as much as I like her, my bank account -aka my husband-doesn't)


This is Sam's friend (our neighbor) Joshua. Gabe loves being around them, so he always is!
This is Sam's first snow angel. He was so proud!! oh my gosh...my boys are so handsome!!! Seriously, how can you stand it??

These hoodlums? I have no clue who they are. They look like they are up to no good. They are trying to cover their faces and their hands. No witnesses and no fingerprints. Yep, up to no good!!! I am not related to, nor is anyone I am related to related to any of these hoods. And I most definately do not hang out with any of their mothers. Nor am I the mother of any of them!Sam, Joshua, and Nicholas. Always up to no good.


See I told you. Look at them trampling all over our poor neighbors flowers!!! They were playing with their little boy, but he ran and hide everytime he saw the camera.So stinking cute!!

Now we are off to Grammy's for some visiting and picking up a few of her decorations that she is giving us. Every year they buy something else and they just pass on their older stuff.

Oh and I just discovered Christmas shopping on line. It's wonderful. Especially when you don't want to take a 3 month old and a 2 yr old in public, in strollers, in Christmas crowds. In and out of carseats. I bought 4 peoples gifts on line. They are going to be delivered to my house. How wonderful!!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

gobble gobble

Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving! This one was a little bittersweet. I received news late Wednesday night that my cousin, my mom's first cousin, passed away. She was only 55 years old. Close to my mom's age. That is not a good feeling. I had been upset Wednesday thinking about how Thanksgiving was before I was married. I remembered the burn n serve rolls (aka brown n serve rolls) that my grandma always made. The dressing that my family makes. We always had to make 2 green bean casseroles because the first one was always eaten before the actual dinner took place. (I have NO IDEA who did that, none whatsoever) So to find out about Aunt Debbie was just par for the course. (yes, we called her Aunt Debbie, actually more like Ain't Debbie-just a southern thing I guess)

Thursday was us deciding if Elliot and I would be going to my mother in laws house. Elliot has been stuffed up for a day or so and I didn't want to bring him out and around others. But my mother in law insisted. And I felt bad about it. There was only one of Kevin's siblings going to the in laws, so she was already upset. So we went. I'm glad we did. It was really nice. Tim and Kerri brought a bounce house and by the kids reactions, all was right with the world!

And the static electricity makes Gabe look sorta spikey.

There was lots of running around and riding bikes too. We love that Grammy lives in a cul de sac.
There was lots of playing with our family and making Christmas decorations.

I managed to capture the a rare site on camera. I am disappointed at the overall photo, but to have captured it at all is a great accomplishment that i am very proud of!!!
The elusive teenager!! The only proof that Austin was actually at Thanksgiving. This was also the first holiday since his dad passed away. It's a little different than most because he didn't know his dad. But he is very close to his dad's sister now and it was very rough for her. Friday was also Vinnie's birthday, again the first since his death. Austin spent Friday with them. That was tough for me, because I am not used to him splitting the holiday time with anyone. But I was already so sentimental after Debbie's death, I could understand why Renee needed Austin. Besides, I can't imagine losing my sibling. That's just awful.

We had a fantastic dinner and lots of family time. Fun was had by all!

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Richmond, Texas, United States
I am a stay at home mom to 4 boys-a teen, a kindergartener, a toddler and a new lil one! There is no lack of antics at my house. I found true love on the internet (but I dated him in high school)! We recently moved to Richmond (a suburb of Houston) after 3 years in DFW area. I am still unpacking this house and trying to make everything fit-I feel like I am shoving a square into a circle! It's been a year-don't judge. It's not nice. My best friend is my sister-when I don't want to kill her. I am slightly obsessed with photography, scrapbooking and polka dots...in that order. I claim that pink is my favorite color, but I'm a fan of all color! There is a skinny girl screaming inside me...but I just shut her up with chocolate!

My loot

Minolta Maxxum 7D
Minolta 50mm 1.8
Minolta 18-70
Minolta 28-100
Minolta 75-300
Vivitar 850AFM
Keinko Extension Tubes
Crumpler 6 million dollar
Wicked Stitch bag
Photoshop Elements 5

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